Spot The Loony

Minister resists pressure to slaughter R.S.G.B. Limited members

In a surprising move last week, The Radio Society of Great Britain Limited, officially acknowledged the existence of the so called "MAD CUNT DISEASE" Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, which is now scientifically linked to it's human equivalent Creutzfeldt-Jackob-Bodwen disease.

Veterinary experts from across Europe have called for stricter curbs on the election of R.S.G.B.Ltd. committee members "I accept there may be some hazard, but I believe the risk can be reduced to a minimum by selecting candidates no older than 45 years of age" biologist Dr.Graham Medley of Warwick University assured amateurs, "I urge those in the hobby not to panic, and await the findings of the 13 independent scientists appointed by the government" he added.

Trade and Industry secretary, Ian Laing, rejected claims that a selected slaughter of Radio Amateurs was the answer, "I accept that members of the public are becoming increasingly concerned, but at present we have no scientific facts to link "MAD CUNT DISEASE" to the more senior bitter and twisted members of the amateur radio fraternity"

Fear of "MAD CUNT DISEASE" spread like wildfire when it became widely known that the more socially inadequate and deranged amateurs went out of their way to 'associate' with children. Schoolteachers across the country have unknowingly assisted elderly carriers of "MAD CUNT DISEASE" to indoctrinate youngsters and expose them to potentially dangerous amounts of the Creutzfeldt-Jackob-Bodwen spores whilst assuming their charges were receiving harmless instruction in novice radio operation!

"Nobody knows for sure the actual rate of infection, but to be on the safe side it is recommended that no contact is made with any "A" class licencee or more importantly any R.S.G.B.Ltd. member until more is known about the epidemic" a DTI spokesperson read from an official statement, "International contacts are known to be disease free, so there is no fear of infection from DX-ing, but we believe that due to the slow incubation, many U.K. amateurs may already be carrying the disease. No evidence exists that data transmissions can transfer the pathogen, but until more details of this outbreak are known, we strongly advise that no contact is made at all with any R.S.G.B.Ltd. member at all".

Efforts to reassure amateurs in Germany, France, Finland, Greece, and Italy have been fruitless as panic has spread, and fear of contracting what has become known as the R.S.G.B. disease have almost isolated an already dwindling number of spineless and ineffectual hermits that characteristically inhabit potting sheds. Carriers of "MAD CUNT DISEASE" can be identified by the prominent bald spot, large stomach, and food stained home knitted cardigan or jumper with the badly embroidered call sign that has become almost a uniform for this aged and lamentable decreasing minority that has seen its numbers decimated in recent years by their almost fanatical attempts to keep their hobby shrouded in mystique.

In London's Tottenham Court Road this week, shops were deserted following the announcement that scientists had linked "MAD BODWEN DISEASE" to humans. Retailers reported an almost 90% drop in equipment sales and feared that the collapsed market for amateur radio equipment may never recover "I blame Hestletine for the cover-up" said disgraced ex-police Sergeant 3116 William Malcolm Bodwen when interviewed at his 106 Manor Lane, Halesowen, hideout, "flim-flam-flob-a-dob - I'm a teapot" he added, "I'm just glad not to be affected myself!" he then turned away and, standing on one leg, continued eating his bicycle. William Malcolm Bodwen (G0MAL) is 64.

Spot The Loony! William William Malcolm Bowden 3116, William Malcolm Bowden 3116, William Malcolm Bowden 3116

Minister resists pressure to slaughter R.S.G.B. Limited members