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The Laughing Policeman Wireless Society
is the
ALTERNATIVE Amateur Radio Enthusiast's Club
for radio amateurs, radio enthusiasts and radio hams

Advancing the hobby for 37 years!

After almost 30 years, we have found a funny amateur radio joke:-

My mate told me that when masturbating to Internet porn, you get a better orgasm if you put a rubber band round your balls and the base of your cock.

I tried it but I didn't have enough bandwidth!

DTMF tone generator

Remember DTMF (Dual Tone Multi Frequency) tones are also legal!

For reasons best known to themselves, since 2009 Original artwork by LPWS ©, the UK regulatory body, started to relax the rules governing the hobby.
First by dropping of the log book requirement, then we noticed that the ban on transmitting music had been lifted, and now the 15 minute station identification requirement has gone too!
Original artwork by LPWS © are  taking all the fun away, as it is now so difficult to break the rules as even swearing isn't against current Terms & Conditions. Instead of "winding up" the old duffers by ignoring the rules, we can do exactly the same by adhering to the rules - what a bizarre turn of events.

This is a 100% genuine quotation:-

"Their intelligence network is uncanny and up to now they have kept one step ahead of us."
Mohan Dhamrait, a Radiocommunications Agency investigator
, speaking about the LPWS
NOTE:-  We don't, didn't, and never have had an intelligence network, staying one step ahead of a DTI man didn't require any great skill and judgment!

On 8th July 2014 we negotiated with Mr. Kunt, front man of Kunt & The Gang, and we have his support and approval to retransmit any track from his album Kuntrarian by Little Kunt, absolutely copyright free.

Click the album cover   -   Great repeater songs!
All the tracks in mp3 in one Zip file are
HERE for free download
COPYRIGHT FREE for transmission by LPWS members.   

Under current UK copyright law, the original recorded sound for a recording published prior to 1963 comes into the public domain after 50 years. However, the underlying published song lyrics and music remain in copyright for 70 years after the death of the author.

Talking about copyright:-

It has come to our attention that our theme tune, The Laughing Policeman (Billie Grey), sung by Charles Penrose, may be the subject of copyright infringement, and what may well be one of the earliest examples!
We have been sent a recording of The Laughing Song sung by George W Johnson (An American negro, self styled "Whistling Coon & Laughing Darkie") from a wax cylinder recorded between 1894 & 1898, which we believe predates The Laughing Policeman by some 25+ years!
Whilst not exactly the same song, it is remarkably similar to such an extent that it can barely be a coincidence.

LPWS Membership is now FREE  This is open to anyone, in fact, you may already be a member and not know it. Contravene any of the current regulations, and you are automatically accepted. You may have said more that 8 syllables or three words before your call-sign, or followed the RSGB Limited advice and said "Is this frequency in use" without first giving the call-sign. The most usual method of acceptance is to respond in any way to an existing LPWS member and therefore be guilty of addressing remarks to other than the station of a licensed amateur, or simply key your mike to check a repeater is working - you have then established your station without giving the call sign at the commencement of transmission, welcome new member!

Since we changed the membership requirements we probably have many more members than RSGB Limited have magazine subscribers!

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The LPWS Official G2 Moaning Stick

We are sorry to say that these are now completely out of stock, in 1992 a kind member from the Southern Branch, dropped off a box of 144 which have all been  distributed FREE, we are forever grateful to the (G7) donor! The one in the clubhouse must be 22 years old and still going strong!

Great for repeater work, we have attempted to buy some more, but the only ones we can find are a pale replica and barely make any noise at all, so upon the suggestion of a member, we have made an MP3 recording available that you can download onto a phone etc. for endless fun on your local repeater, download HERE

Also available as both iPhone and Android apps. Search for Groan Stick.

We think the moaning stick can be legitimately used on amateur radio as it is nothing more than an external tone generating device, if DTMF, CTCSS, SSTV, Packet, AMTOR, 1750KHz, analogue data, and Morse etc., are all OK, then why not the tones of a moaning stick? We will probably get someone to write in and ask, it would be very hard to ban a moaning stick and still allow the use of all the other various tones encountered.

Shortwave America Product Store

CLICK LPWS report in Shortwave America, G8ASO interview CLICK

LPWS Honourary Membership October 2012

Airline pilots, long regarded as sensible upstanding people, so much so that they get serious discounts on their car insurance etc. and are seemingly able to walk into high earning jobs, now proved to be not that sensible after all!


Expletive-ridden Insults

Airline pilots are being investigated after emergency radio channels were jammed with expletive-ridden insults.The abuse was aimed at the RAF’s Distress and Diversion (D&D) Unit, the ‘999 service’ for airmen which responds to mayday calls. The Civil Aviation Authority is attempting to identify the offending pilots.

"There have been comments with plenty of expletives," an RAF source said. "I’m sure these pilots wouldn’t want an emergency line tied up with that sort of infantile chat if they were trying to send a mayday message." "There have also been reports of music being played down the emergency channels."
Another RAF source added: "One German* pilot used to belch over the microphone every day at the same time, which he found amusing."
London-based Civil Aviation Authority is investigating pilots who block the UK's emergency airline "Using our equipment we tracked him and on the third day his transmission was met with the response: “This is London centre. If you continue to abuse this frequency in such a manner then you will be reported.”

The CAA said: "We are investigating allegations of the misuse of the frequency and if we can identify the planes involved we will contact the airline operators and ask them to take action."  An LPWS spokesman declined to comment.

* We are interested to know the difference between a German belch, and any other! Full story HERE

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   G2, G3, or G5 call? Important information for you CLICK HERE

Please note that since this website was designed many of the agencies and departments have been replaced by Original artwork by LPWS ©.
Parts of the website remain as an historical record of what happened at the time.

The Laughing Policeman Wireless Society, is a club for radio amateurs, run by radio amateurs. It is nothing whatsoever to do with the Police in any way, they actually made quite a decent noise for just three members! The name is derived from our theme tune, The Laughing Policeman by Charles Penrose. Any similarities between persons mentioned or depicted and anyone either living or dead is purely coincidental. The opinions expressed are those of the contributors and not necessarily those of the club/society as a whole. We do not encourage or condone any contravention of laws applicable in whatever country you are from, any action you take is matter for your own conscience, we are not in a position to condone or condemn. Construction advice, circuits, and information are provided for entertainment purposes only. Images and content are believed to be non-copyright, if you supply proof of ownership of anything reproduced on this site, it will be immediately withdrawn without question.

We acknowledge all trademarks and think Microsoft is great. G8ASO & Rodger "Diddley" Dipole WEBMASTER August 2015

      "Wicked" Willy Bodwen ex Sgt. 3116 (forced to retire & not a laughing policeman!)

The Laughing Policeman Wireless Society is a non-profit organisation for the furtherance of amateur radio.
With annual turnover of less then GBP £1000, LPWS qualifies for UK Charitable Status.
This website does not use cookies, we prefer Hobnobs, plain chocolate preferably.

Access to, and use of this web site is subject to these Terms of use

Email G8ASO